Confessions
by Pandora95
Summary: Sasuke is a troubled teen in the big wide world. How can you live in a world where NOTHING feels right? Where no one understands you? When on your best days you just want it all to end? Is there really no one who can help him?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

* * *

In few weeks I will turn eighteen. I don't see the big whoop. But everyone else does. Let me give you a quick ran through.

My gran is flying all the way over from France. Yeah she's French and no I don't speak the language. My parents moved to England when I was about two. They can speak English perfectly. The only French I learnt was in class. And that stopped roughly at 'bonjour'. She promised to get me some big surprise. After all the lovely knitted sweaters, I can't wait to find out what it is going to be. Well I didn't get a scarf in a while.

My parents will be working my entire birthday. The upside of that is that we are super rich. Just kidding. We nearly scrape the line of poverty.

Okay there is a chance I might be exaggerating. I've been told I do that a lot. Nonetheless we really don't have a lot of money.

So like I said, they'll be working. But they promised me some big blowout birthday extravaganza few weeks later. I wasn't really paying attention.

And then there is Naruto. My best friend. He wanted to take me out drinking. He's about half a year younger than me, so what he really meant was that he wants me to buy him drinks. Fat chance. I'm broke.

My other school friends are just as bad. One insisted on taking me to a strip club at her expense. Okay I'm not that broke. Plus I'm not that kind of man. She just wants to pretend to be "cool".

Another said she wants to get me drunk. Well at least she's eighteen.

And what do I think about all of this? I don't care in the slightest. It's a day like any other. I'm going to be a day older. A day closer to dying.

I know, I know. That sounds really morbid.

Birthdays are supposed to be about celebrating life and not thinking about death. Well I guess I'm wired wrong.

Today was a pretty normal day. Scrap that.

It wasn't normal. It was bad. A bad day. I don't really know why I said it since I don't want to talk about it…

Maybe I'll try thinking about cars or football or supermodels or whatever normal teenage boys like to think about.

God I wish it was that simple.

Everyone pisses me off sometimes. Does that make me a bad person? On one of my bad days, no matter what anyone says, even if they do care about me, I tend to push them away by making a rude comment or just generally ignoring them. What do they know after all?

The only thing that never pisses me off is reading. Yeah I have a weird thing about reading. I would read all day, every day if I could. Maybe I should just marry my books? They won't judge me or talk about me behind my back. They will accept me for who I am. Is that really too much to ask for?

As you can see by now, my train of thought is pretty messed up. I think about one thing then jump to another. One time I'm sad, the next I'm happy. Well, welcome to my life. Sit down and put your seatbelts on because it is one crazy, scary ride.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

* * *

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like that. You're annoying me." I blinked a couple of times and let the information sink in.

"Sorry" I said and looked at the floor. Sakura is in one of her moods again. It's that or I really do look annoying.

"If you don't smile or do something normal, you'll set me off again." According to her, she has some sort of anger issues. It started four years ago. I wouldn't know, I haven't met her then. I haven't seen any proof of it since I met her.

We were sat on the floor in a classroom. It was one of our only free lessons we both had together. I sat with my legs crossed and my hands awkwardly at my side. She was sat with her legs pulled up to her chest protectively and resting her head on her knees. In all honesty _she _was the one who actually looked annoying.

"I'm just really tired." I lied and faked a smile. It got easier over time. "How about we talk about Sai?" I give her another little smile. The truth is, I don't care in the slightest, but it seems to cheer Sakura right up. A huge grin appears on her face.

"Sai talked to me online last night."

"Wow, that's a pretty big deal." I said faking my enthusiasm.

"I know! We talked till like…three or four in the morning! He kept saying he wished he was with me and that he could kiss me and cuddle me and…" her cheeks turned bright red. I didn't need a further explanation. Nor did I want one.

"Did you talk to him in school?" I asked her desperate for the conversation to keep going. I didn't want to be called annoying again.

"No" she said with a sigh and banged her head on the wall behind her. "I passed him in the corridor today and said hello, but he just ignored me."

"He's a jerk. You deserve someone much better than that."

"Maybe, but…Sai is so hot!"

"Yeah" I sighed internally. "So you've said." I pulled out my phone from my jeans pocket. Surely enough I had a message from Naruto.

_11.31 – Naruto_

_ How are you doing today, my dear, dear friend? ;) x _

I tend to grin whenever I get a text from Naruto. He can always make me laugh without much effort. I always wished he was my brother so that whenever I felt sad, I had him to cheer me up. Pretty selfish I know.

I typed back, (no longer paying any attention to Sakura):

_I'm being forced to listen to Sakura's shitty problems again. X_

I looked at Sakura; she was still talking, her mouth still moving while she looked out the window in the classroom door at the people passing by. But I _really _wasn't listening. I hoped she wouldn't ask me a question anytime soon.

Naruto's response was pretty automatic.

_11.34 – Naruto_

_ Wow that sucks :( but I know you brought this on yourself. You asked her, didn't you? X_

I sighed silently and replied.

_It sucks how well you know me. Yeah I asked. But only because she called me annoying and I had to change the subject. X_

I didn't even time to put my phone back into my pocket.

_11.35 – Naruto_

_ I will never understand why you hang around with that bitch. X_

_ I told you, I don't have a lot of friends in this school and somehow I have to survive till the end of the year. And I don't particularly feel like doing that on my own. X_

What I sent to Naruto was the truth and he knew it. At the beginning of the year I had no friends. Sitting on your own during lunches and break times and your free periods just sucks. You have no one to help you with your essay or no one to ask what was the homework set for a given subject. You just wonder through the halls, from classroom to classroom and back again. Now that I found Sakura to hang around with I would stick with her, no matter what. Until the end that is. Then she wouldn't have to see my "annoying" face ever again.

Boy oh boy, I don't think I'll ever be able to let that go.

Naruto, went to a different school. We've been best friend forever and I just wish I had him here with me. Again, I was starting on the whole selfish thing.

We could only meet up at the weekends and that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to see him more often.

_ 11.37 – Naruto _

_ You'll be fine. You always are! Oh my god, today I walked past this mother who slapped her child in the face! X_

Another great thing about Naruto. His ability to change subjects faster than the speed of light…

_Where the hell do you walk?! X_

_ 11.39 – Naruto_

_ I was going to school and saw them. Naturally I had to walk over and say something! X_

"Are you even listening?!" I looked up just in time to see a very angry Sakura standing above me, as she slapped my phone out of my hand. It went flying across the classroom.

"What the hell?" I asked her frowning.

"You weren't even listening to me you selfish bastard! Why do I even bother with you?!" She grunted something under her breath and turned to leave the room. The door slammed shut behind her.

Well, at least she was right about one thing. I was selfish.


End file.
